Monday, February 4, 2008

A squanderers list


we are in an age of far spread development and changes..almost everyone is looking up to the future..not that they have a choice to do otherwise, but pretendia g that u have control over certain actions can feel reassuring..stop the clock..look over ur shoulder..and pay a moments homage to the time spent..regression is a state of mind, but hindsight is a tool of the mind..however pessimistic that thought may be!! we, as humans are capable of mindless and regretless squandering..and not just the monetary implications of it..spent politicians..haydays of Sardar Patel and Jawaharlal Nehru are passe..hay/'chara'days of Laloo are here..and he did make hay while the sun shone, and how!!spent cities..once prosperous cities like Lucknow now lie rotting in their own filth..corrupting, whoring and abducting their own magnificent past..spent forces of the failed Russian Intrusion in Afghanisthan now work 9/11 on a terrorist job card..then again, hindsight has its own limitations..in trying to look over the shoulder, i left out what was directly behind me..my own past..and at the end of a days revelry, there it is again..staring hard and digging deep..as if to fish out an apology for crimes unknown, but definately happened..and then just like every socially adjusted civilized being, i smother it with a miasma of future promises and extravagant fantasies..in the end it gives up and the impractically optimistic lullaby cuddles me into sleep..a morphine induced coma..a push-me-pull-me syndrome of a past unchangable and a future unsure.i am a squanderer.. but i am not yet spent..